was talkin' to benedict last night. and i realised something which made me cry.
friends -- they made up a huge part of my life. i wouldnt have come so far without the support of my friends. but who in this world really understands me? ive lost loads of friends. LOADS. none of them really understood me.

i was labelled a bitch who snatches guys away from my friends. hur. i dont even like those guys! she said i had been like that all the while. am i really that sort of person?
i wasnt trustworthy to him. cuz he was afraid i would tell her about it. well, will i? even when i found out, i didnt say a thing to her, until she asked me about it. he said he didnt tell anybody. then why is it that he could tell my good friend, but not me? he said he trusts me. but still, the fact is, he didnt tell me a thing.

two of them -- i regarded them as my close friends. but both of them said hurtful things to me. they never once trusted me. never once understood me. i knew them for years. YEARS. but they could give up the friendship just cuz i was this. i was that. wow.

i might seem to have many close friends, in fact, i dont think i do. who do i turn to when ive troubles? nobody. englong's busy in NS, he doesnt have much time for me. 6677? seriously, we are simply playmates. benedict? where is he when i need him? yes, he's there at times, but not all the time. he has his own social life. yanyi? worse. we've drifted apart so much. shuling? misunderstandings occur between us now and then.

what else can i say? who else can i turn to?




nobody trusts me.
nobody ever trusted me.
NOBODY!

do you know how much it hurts to have your best friend for years telling you how long she has tolerated you? how much you've changed over the years. and how bitchy you are to snatch guys away from your good friend, when you never had the intention of doing so.
do you know how much it hurts to have your senior telling you how much he doesnt trust you? first, he tells you "yeayea, i'll tell you when im successful" then he tells you "oh. cuz im afraid you'll tell so-and-so." then he says "nono, i trust you. just that.. its hard to explain la"



narr. nobody will understand.
its just too much of a coincedence, you know. God's playing a trick on me.
Cindy, sometimes i think i must have owe you in my previous life. haha...

adeline ; yuqi
15/o8/1988
ngee ann poly ; biotech
attached - since oh one oh nine oh four

good food. music. teevee. englong.