tralala.
Friday, October 14, 2005
10:02 PM
was readin' michelle tan's blog. and the 1st paragraph made me recall the times i spent crying and inflicting pain on myself.
i was damn emotional last time. crying at the slightest bit of things. i may seem strong, but im not. i may look happy, but im not.
yes, like any other teen, i did experience problems in my studies, friendship and relationship. it's stupid, i know. i remember there was this period of time in my life, i was so down. i cried almost everyday. and i cut myself too, under the influence of
the friends whom i wont name here. seeing
the friends inflict pain on themselves when they were upset, i cut myself unknowingly. it was like, when one smokes, they forget all their troubles. the pain i felt while cutting myself made me forget my emotional hurt. it was useful for that few seconds, but when i got used to the pain, i thought of my troubles again.
self-mutilation's a stupid way of escaping from reality. cuz when scars form, you start to think of why did you cut yourself. and the cycle starts all over again. and i do know some of
the friends still continue cutting themselves.
makin' a mistake isnt a big deal. just admit to it and people will naturally accept you. be brave.
being accused of doing something you never did may be a bad thing. you may be damn pissed and upset. but at the end of the day, you just have to prove to the others you never did so.
if you want others to trust you, you must first have confidence in yourself.
if you want to win others, you must first conquer youself.
trust.
trust that the people around you will support you no matter what happens.
trust that they will always be with you.
even if they betrayed you, never stop trusting that someone worthy of your love and concern will appear.
just some random thoughts written above.
may not sound right, but i did my best.
its never easy to pen down what you feel.
now&forever
you&me